Ladies and gentlemen, hypocrites and sycophants, I present to you the most bizarre and utterly ridiculous lines of text you will read all day. In 500 words, or less, not only will I ensure world peace, shame social media, and avenge Alok Nath, but also bring back human decency to life. You may be thinking right now that this post is a waste of your time. Let me assure you right here, right now, that it most assuredly is a waste of your time. But bear with me for a little while, because my views matter. Maybe not to you, but to one person in this world, they are the most important thing in this world. I of course am talking about myself, in a very obvious and non-subtle way. I am going to prove to you that my words have the power of convincing you to do anything. No, no. Don’t stop now. You are all the way here so you might as well read this in its entirety.
You can count on this text to be full of grand words, silly rhymes, that are here for no reason and only to waste your time. This post is proof that a person can be full of smart words, stupid thoughts, and an intense desire to force the two to copulate, in order to assault the visual and mental senses of everyone who has the misfortune of stumbling onto the aberrant and unholy offspring that thus sprang from the deepest possible recesses of their not so deep minds. Once again, it is to the humble me that I refer. You may think this is about someone else, but let me stop you right there and clarify that not in a million years will I mock someone publicly using a website with my name on it, when I can just as easily hide behind the guise of anonymity and be even more blunt.
This is not an attempt to mock someone, or to bring them down. This is merely, as I have already stated, a complete and utter waste of your time. When I started this I promised you that this blog post would fix everything wrong with this world. Since I am no politician to go back on my words without suffering repercussions, and facing a deluge of your strongly worded comments, I will hand you this advice which you may or may not choose to follow. Stop believing what a stranger on the internet says. That’s it! I promise you that if you make this advice the mantra of your life, slowly but surely your life will turn around, and you will be a loser in a completely different way.